I feel like the walls are closing in. I think my life is wasted. I don't know what to do.

Unreserved compartments in our trains is the worst place to be if you are sober. Smoking is banned in Trains, but the arseholes don't care about that and they continue to carry on with their shitty work everywhere. Some people even smoke ganja in trains.

When I was travelling from Kochi to Coimbatore in Guwahati Thiruvananthapuram Express (12507 / 15), I met this bloke who started fighting with a man who lighted cigarette. Then when train halted at Palakkad Junction, he threatened to tell about the man to railway police if he smokes again in train. I didn't bother much because I thought he might have had traumatic incidents because of train accidents. After few minutes another man lighted a joint and this guy who was complaining about cigarette went furious and he tried to  hit the man who was smoking joint inside the toilet. Yes, that is where they go to smoke during train journeys. Everyone calmed him down and journey continued. He got down at coimbatore too. So I asked him why he was so furious on that man. I asked him if he was concerned that he might create fire accident.
But he replied that they were forcing him to smoke and that is why he behaved so. Well, I agree with him that they were making us smoke their second hand smoke. I agreed with him that passive smoking has its effects, he said that he has some mental issues with people using recreational drugs. That kindled my interest in his story, so I somehow persuaded him to tell his story. Before I tell his story, I want to give a small idea of how he looked. He had very short hairs, so he must have shaved his head recently. He was wearing a T shirt that way too large for him. He must be wearing something like 38 inch but his T shirt was something like 46 or 48. I assume that he must have got it for free from someone. He was wearing a saffron veatti, but it looked like white since it has lost its dye and I assume it is because of repeated use. He was wearing a black shoe that wasn't polished for years. By looking at these, I would say that he is some poor peasant.  He told me he was working in a call centre attending calls from americans. Usually those guys are seriously fucked up and very stupid. All they know is what they were trained to do, but he doesn't sound like them. In Railway station he plugged his laptop and powered it on. The laptop had no battery and he was booting into Tails operating system via a USB. That is not what you see everyday in Coimbatore, especially by a guy dressed like a hobo. I acted like I didn't know what he was doing. I was hoping for something interesting. I expected him to be hosting some website in tor web with .onion address, but all he did was to go to a non commercial forum and he was ranting about something. Anyway, here is what he said about himself:

These are not his exact words because he was talking to me in Tamil and I somehow managed to translate them.

"I wasn't always like this. I used to be good, real good. In school, I was so famous. Everyone liked me. (He gave such a build up as if he was like Elvis Presley in his school.) I was good in studies, I had great sense of humor. My school mates still remember me as a person whom they can approach if they need to forget everything and to laugh. Then I joined college and everything turned upside down. I stayed at hostel. (as if it was a big deal. In his village they stay with their parents till they die (or their parents die. LOL.)) We have this ragging in our college and they think it was fun. (I was a victim too) Though there were many anti-ragging laws when I joined college (in 2006), it was quite prevalent. There were fights between gangs in college and we (the new joinees) have to join the seniors who ragged us and we had to beat up the opposite gang. Or else we will be beaten up by these seniors. So many things happen in fight. (Blah Blah Blah. He was just staying a completely different story that I think as irrelevant to his story, so I omitted it here.) As a part of ragging I was forced to smoke marijuana. It was my first recreational drug of any sort. I haven't even had a beer / cigarette before in my life. I was required to smoke the kush for few weeks as a part of ragging. Then everything became settled in couple of months. But I found myself smoking the marijuana quite often and before I realised it, I was addicted. So alcohol and marijuana become part of my daily routine. In second year I improvised. By that what I meant is "I started using LSD and cocaine." I was thrown out of college in third year. I moved back to home. My parents were so worried. But I continued what I used to do. I just couldn't help it. Once I was caught by coppers while buying marijuana. My parents had to bribe them to release me. We were in huge debts because of that. We had to bribe them in Lakhs.
Then slowly I was able to lose the drug habit and I joined a company for a job. It was a call centre (or sweatshop of modern India.) I was already in huge debt (450000 INR) because of the educational loan that I took for college. And the other debt of 100000 INR for bribing the police. But the meager wage that I got 8000 INR cannot even pay half the interest of these debts. In this situation my dad lost his job and his health condition deteriorated. And I have a brother who is not mentally sound. He is still like a toddler in mind. With all these in my mind, I somehow managed to stay clean.

Things got worse. Last month I was fired for not making enough sales. I couldn't go home to face my parents, so ODed on my prescription medicines and I relapsed. I lost my mind and I took drugs. I know that I shouldn't do it. But I just couldn't help it. I don't know what to do. Everytime I close my eyes, the dark thoughts fill my mind. I just feel like I want to massacre everyone around me. I feel like I want to rob people. I am just not fit to be on streets anymore. Killing all the people in a mall, slitting their throats and bombing railway stations are the only things that come in my dream."

I interrupted him and said, "you will be thrown in jail. or maybe even hanged."

He replied, "That sounds good. If I am in Jail, I won't do any crazy stuff. I should surrender myself to coppers. But they won't arrest me because I haven't done anything. But I think I should do a small crime and get nicked so that I can go to jail before I do something crazy."

I realized that he was still high and I was afraid that actually he might do something. But I realized he is such a pussy. He is complaining about the world. He is trying to blame his seniors and the society for the position he is in. I don't think so. He should've been careful. He should've stayed with his thoughts, but he was getting high on drugs when he should have studied. What comes around goes around. What a loser!

Can an employer ask employees to lie and cheat as a part of job?

I met this young woman in Bangalore - Ernakulam Express. She is totally fucked up. She wasn't working anywhere for a while and the job she has got now is so screwed. A girl not working in a country like like India is very common in Indian towns and cities. In large towns and cities, I have saw women who just go to work to chat up with guys, pass time and to get money to spend lavishly on make up and stuff. But she isn't one of them. She is from a village where women work much harder than men. Anyway coming to her story, she is only daughter to her parents and she is the only earning member of family.

She lost her job in October and she couldn't look for a new job due to personal reasons. They are too personal and I do not want to mention them here. She was actually looking for an advice. Here is what she said about it:

"..... so I took a job in this company and in interview they said it is for technical support BPO. They also mentioned that there might be some sales involved like selling printers and other accessories. This was a call centre and I joined for a pilot batch. i.e., we are just getting started in this line of business. 

Once the job started I was asked to dial to people in USA and lie to them and cheat them. The call goes like: 

"I am calling from microsoft because I have received an error report from your computer and I have to remote access is to fix it." I have to convince them to give remote access, then I have to say that their PC has a huge issue due to third party even though it is fine, then charge them 100 to 600 USD. 

Sometimes the iOS users are targeted and they receive an ad on safari which redirects them to a page that says "iOS crashed, call the number 800-***-**** to fix and save your personal data." Once they call, it comes to us, we say they 've reached apple and we charge them $30 to $150 to save their contacts and photos being hacked. All we do is guide them to clear history and restart their iPhone. 

I hate this job, but if I have to quit I have to pay a month's salary or serve a month notice period. Please help. What can I do. Am I obliged to lie as a part of my job?
I have no clue about labour laws. Does the laws permit an employer to ask employees to lie and cheat, so they can make money.

When I asked around, they say employers can ask anything. I think that is wrong. I am an employee, not a slave. "



She is working in a company in Bangalore. If you have any advice for her, please leave it in comments. 

About this blog

We meet many people everyday; on the bus or train, on shop on a fair, at work and what not. Everybody is unique in some way. But I think train is the best place to meet new people. I travel a lot by train and I always travelled in General compartment. It is because I do not plan my travel. I work in a call centre and it is nothing but a sweatshop with computers and air conditioning. I donot when my week offs will be for next week or what shift I will be doing then. So it is almost impossible to plan ahead and reserve the train tickets. More over the reserved train tickets are fucking costly. How can a silly vermin like me afford that. My home town is Coimbatore and I work in Bangalore, so most of my train journey is between these cities. I had to be standing most of the time, but if I am lucky, I might get a place on luggage berth to park my arse. I cannot  keep my mouth shut for the entire travel time, so sometimes I speak with fellow passengers. I hear many interesting life stories. Few people are so successful and inspiring. But few are so pathetic and they make me feel like a affluent person. Believe me, I am a Douchebag; but when compared to few, I am like a saint.

So I decided to write down stories of few people I have met. I know that the persons involved in the stories will not like it, but what the hell.

A Sweatshop - a Place similar to where I work. 

Ideal condition in unreserved compartment in Indian railways

Ideal condition in unreserved compartment in Indian railways